Direct, Indirect and No Control
The problems we face fall in one of the three areas: direct control (problems involving our own behaviour); indirect control (problems involving other people's behaviour); no control (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past or situational realities). The proactive approach puts the first step in the solution of all three kinds of problems within our present Circle of Influence. Direct control problems are solved by working on our habits. They are obviously within our Circle of Influence. These are the "Private Victories". Indirect control problems are solved by changing our methods of influence. These are the "Public Victories". Most people have only three or four of these methods in their repertoire, starting usually with reasoning, and, if that doesn't work, moving to flight or fight. How liberating it is to accept the idea that I can learn new methods of human influence instead of constantly trying to use old ineffective methods to ...
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