Little Deep Thoughts

Most of us think our lives accumulate. We think they are adding up to something. We think of our lives as being strung together like a long smoky train, so that we can add new freight cards when we're feeling right, and dump the others when we're not. But when basketball legend John Wooden's father said to him, "Make each day your masterpiece," Wooden knew something profound: Life is now. Life is not later on. And the more we hypnotise ourselves into thinking we have all the time in the world to do what we want to do, the more we sleepwalk past life's finest opportunities. Self-motivation flows from the importance we attach to today. Most of us, however, don't want it to be this way. If someone asks us if today can be used as a model to judge our entire life by, we would shriek, "Oh no! It isn't one of my better days. Give me a year or two and I'll live a day, I'm certain of it, that you can use to represent my life." The key t...

So, why do I claim we have no willpower? Is it a misguided desire to protect myself? Is there a secret payoff in saying I have no willpower? Maybe if I absolutely deny the existence of willpower, I am no longer responsible for developing it. It’s out of my life! What a relief! But, here’s the final tragedy: The development and use of willpower is the most direct access to happiness and motivation that I’ll ever have. In short, by denying its existence, I’m shutting my spirit down. Many people think of willpower and self-discipline as something akin to self-punishment. By giving it that negative connotation, they never get enthused about developing it. But author William Bennett gives us a different way to think of it. Self-discipline, he notes in The Book Of Virtues , comes from the word disciple. When you are self-disciplined, you have simply decided-in matters of the will-to become your own disciple. Once you make that decision, your life’s adventure gets more interesting. ...

Self-confidence is arguably one of the most important things you can have. Self-confidence reflects your assessment of your own self-worth. It will play a large part in determining your happiness through life. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect. Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves. People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments given to them. By contrast, self-confident peo...